Ross Kemp - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Managed to get locked in the toilet today. How the hell did that happen?

I wonder if a tabloid journalist broke into my house while I was doing the sudoku. It normally takes me a good 25 mins in the morning.
Sometimes if its really difficult I ring the 50p a minute phone line for a clue. I can just imagine the newspaper headlines.

"Tv hard man stuck in toilet!" "Ross Kemp On... The Bog"

I cannot rule out foul play. I aim to get to the bottom of this. (No pub intended)