Ross Kemp - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Had a visit from the police yesterday, they said there is a warrant our for my arrest! Surely they mean the ex-wife Rebekah!

I let them in, made them a cup of tea, and we got the matter sorted out.

Turns out it's not Ross Kemp the tv actor and enterer (is that a word) of dangerous war zones, but a 21 year old herbert from Shropshire who got a bit drunk and went round ripping t-shirts and punching 'for sale' signs.

He had previous convictions for damage, drink-driving, aggravated vehicle-taking and drunk and disorderly behaviour.

I think the lad secretly thinks he is Grant Mitchell...

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