Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Monday, 21 April 2008

Ever since I came to 'Blighty' things were getting stranger and stranger which I though was strange for things to get, for normally they don't get strange.

Time was playing tricks on me and perhaps I had fallen through one of them wormhole things.

I hadn't eaten for three days and perhaps that's why. The love-sickness for carina was wearing off and I decided to spend a few hours at a Chinese Restaurant and read Hawking's book to see if it gave me a few ideas.

I went into a Chinese franchise called 'Northern Wok'

and ordered egg-fried rice and noodles and a cup of Lapsang Souchong tea.

I opened up Prof. Hawkings tome, the sleeve of which had been signed... It read "to my best friend carina, luv Stevie Weevie XXX"

Boy, was I angry!!!!!!!!!!!

If you thought that was strange, something stranger than that happened.

John Prescott MP squeezed through the door and came and sat at my table. There was a whole line of waiters perpetually serving him.

He tried to engage me in converation, but I was determined to read this book of Hawking's. All of a sudden this 'Jabba the Hut' of a man threw up all over me and my book.

But THEN SOMETHING EVEN STRANGER HAPPENED.....