Ray Mears - My Fake Diary
Friday, 26 December 2008
Jolly Christmas Day !!
Bit of a shock this morning when I went out into the back gardens to empty me traps of last night's nocturnal game catch.
Got a bloody huge sled on it's side on the lawn, sacks of toys and pressies strewn everywhere. Made a right mess of the Missus' flower beds too.
Six reindeer, in various states of physical trauma and distress, so double-tapped the lot.
One old bloke with a white beard dressed in a red romper suit, stuck halfway up a tree, neck broken, so buried him in a shallow grave. Best way, then the nosy plods don't get involved.
Apparently by the looks of things it would appear the reindeer and sled got tangled up with the snares I've got set in the tree line for catching fruit bats.
Some good bits n bobs in the pressy sacks. Just come across a bottle of brandy, a box of cigars and some shortbread.
Well, it's Christmas for me anyway.
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