Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

We already have a busy summer lined up to celebrate my 60th year on the throne.

Parties, music festivals. But, for my own personal pleasure, i'm thinking of throwing a handful of oiks in the tower. No judges, no juries, no political debates - just me putting my foot down.

It will be like the opposite of giving out the OBE, MBEs and CBEs on my birthday. No rewards - just punishments.

For a start - Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan. Tony Blair, David Cameron, John Prescott, Gary Glitter, Jeremy Clarkson, Jeremy Kyle...

Well that's enough to be going on with - but i've not finished yet...