Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 16 May 2010

Dear diary, I am so royally tired of those men trying to run my country. They have proved to be a royal pain in the arse lately. They just cannot seem to get their acts together.

I am at a loss as to what to do next. My own grandsons would do a better job as politicians. Alas, they are not allowed to enter politics, for obvious reasons.

I do fear that Philip has Alzheimers. I don't want to get a medical diagnosis for fear of causing panic, but yesterday he asked me if I'd give him a lap-dance, whatever that is, and just this morning he asked me if I'd be willing to bend over backwards for him. Of course, I said yes! Well one would, wouldn't one, after all these years married to the same 'so called' man.

As Queen of England and nether-regions, I have no-one to talk to about my problems.

I have, of late, been thinking of joining a Susan Boyle fansite, under an alias of course. That way I could say what I wished. I may even start writing for that Spoof Newspaper. In fact, I think that's what I WILL do. No-one will suspect me over there and I could say what on earth I wished.

Oh! I feel so much better now that I have made that royal decision.

I'll sleep well tonight.

Goodnight dear diary.

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