Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 20 March 2010

Dear diary, oh my, oh my, what is this terrible world coming to? I really do my utmost to keep my subjects 'in line' but I am absolutely appalled at the press reporting the 'goings on' in the world of professional football. After all, it's nobody's business but theirs.

I really do so enjoy watching these young men play football. Some of them (most of them) are so cute I could pinch their cheeks and snuggle them close to my 'royal boosom'.

It's really not their fault. By that I mean that these adulterous relationships have being going on for centuries, even longer. The only difference is that nowadays we have newspapers, television and that darned Youtube.

Nothing can be kept quiet these days.

I do think that every time one of my dear corgs has a bowel movement there is someone hiding in the bushes with a video camera, taking vidoe clips of my dears doing poos, to put up on Youtube.

(I did first type 'corgies' for the plural of 'corgys but it just did not look correct. When I 'sounded it out' it sounded like corjees).

I just don't know what to do. I am helpless. Not because of my Royal Spelling Skills, but about the gorgeous young football players who are suffering from BAD PRESS.

I've asked Charlie for help but he just doesn't have time for me these days.

Never mind, I will continue to suffer in silence.

Oh my! There are so many days when I wish I was NOT Queen of the bloody Empire, or whatever it is called these days.

Night night diary. I'll speak with you later.


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