Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Dear diary

The nasty one eyed Scotsman came around again today, eating all the bourbons and doing that ridiculous shark grin thing he does. Philip the Greek had got wind of his arrival, and he and Big Ears beggered off for an afternoons Ladyboy taunting down at Whites.

Actually, I could quite fancy the mad optically challenged Jock, if only he would stop all that manic grinning.