Lucifer - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 13 October 2013

"I've been spending a lot of time at church lately. Not that I want to become a friend of Jesus or turn around my egregious evil ways. No, I'm content being as nasty as I've always been. Folks think I hang out in drug houses, saloons, bordellos, terrorist camps, penitentiaries. Evil places with evil people. Well, I do. That's always a given. But what's wrong with going to church and seeing what kind of hell I can raise there? Who do you think was really behind the Children's Crusades? Or all the other wars over religion? Was it God? Pleeeeeeaase! Hey, that was some wicked voodoo I pulled with the Roman Catholic priests and the little boys, wasn't it? Joan of Arc burned at the stake? Who lit the fire? Yep. - I try to make it to church every day. I can quote Scripture better than Jesus. Check it out in The Holy Bible. Gotta go now. I'm off to a Mosque. Can't forget my Quran or my machine gun."