Kim Jong Il - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 5 July 2009

I shot seven rockets at the United States yesterday. They fell sightly short of their target (by over 7000 miles), but it was a moral victory for our great nation.

Today, I think I'll go and torture some captured tourists and make them scream for mercy. That sounds like it could be fun and entertaining for five minutes.

After that, I'll get on the internet and look at pictures of large, decadent American boobs.

Why is it that American women have the best big boobs? Why did I have to be born in a country where all of the women have little cup boobs?

Sometimes, I think that I get my anger from the fact that I was breast fed by a woman with little tiny tits (at least, that's what one of my therapists said, until I shot him for insulting my mother).