John Prescott - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 9 September 2012

I had to confessed, as I mention the other day in my diary:

On prime time TV, I'd put my wife's wedding dress into the rubbish.

On All Star Mr & Mrs, I tried to assure the audience that the disposal was for a pragmatic reason. When we got married she bought a wedding dress but she never told me how much it cost. At the time she told me she would turn it into a cocktail dress but she never did.

We had this big box that we used to carry from house to house.

When we got to Hull I said 'listen, why are we carrying this big box, it's never going to be used again. Let's get rid of it'."

She was pregnant at the time. We went down to the corporation tip and we dumped it.

I also told everyone about an incident on the phone from years ago:

Tony Blair rang us up and she was banging the plates and the washing.

I said 'listen, love, can you shut up? I am talking to Tony'.

She said 'this is my kitchen, not your office, and who's Tony?'.

He heard that, didn't he?

I was trying to get Tony and Gordon to agree and there she was banging the plates.

It was a crucial moment. She deliberately goes around banging plates so you can't hear on the phone!"

The missus did not draw any sense of relief from the anecdote!