John Prescott - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

On Top Gear site:

It also said that I only wrote the column to annoy the Road Test Editor of Top Gear magazine. "A tad wasteful", they suggested, devoting an entire column in a national organ to one man.

Oh really? Well they devoted a whole column to me, and now I'm going to devote what's left of this one to John Prescott, who has a brilliant new wheeze.

Basically, if Railtrack don't get the trains to run on time, they'll be fined £40 million.

Which is more than you get for urinating in a public place.

I find myself wondering what good this will possibly do. Certainly, it'll ensure that money, which could be spent making the network better, goes to the government, where it will be spent on a few more focus groups. And big penalties like this will scare away investors. So, the trains will get worse. And then they'll get fined again.

What is Jeremy Clarkson ranting on about?