Jeremy Beadle - My Fake Diary

Monday, 23 June 2003

Today was a jolly day. Being Monday I enjoy to chuckle at the buisness folk making their dreary way to work, plotting and planning my usual tricks.

Then, from my vantage point behind a thick bush, I spied a blind man. Now, I'd been waiting for this moment for a long time, and had actually put all thoughts about this to the back of my mind. But they quickly returned to me and a big grin cracked across my face.

I saw the blind man had lodged his white stick in a wall, and this was my time to strike. I donned a fake grey beard to disguise my identity, there are so many autograph grabbers in London these days, and made my way over to the man. I courteously offered to help the man across the road, and knowing the area I knew that there were workmen repairing a sewer just around the corner. Lukily the man wanted to go in this direction.

I set him on a course for the open man-hole cover and excused myself saying I was late for a meeting. The man blessed me, then fell right down the hole.

It was a sight to behold. He was such a lovely man, he really lightened my day.