HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Dear Diary,

Gad! The damned fools simply cannot begin to understand the blasted burden they are to this world. Saw the morning news on the telly and felt like being sick. The damned wogs are taking over the whole of England.

I swear I shall give mother an earful when she returns from smelling flowers at the show.

Are we England or are we not?

What are we, an arc for every slobbering foreigner with no place in the world. If they'd simply stop cutting each other to pieces and allowing mean bastards to bully them, perhaps they could turn their beautiful lands into something better than bloody dust bins.

I cannot stand this world. I hate the bloody idiots who occupy this world. How blessed it would be to see an end to it all so that we could enjoy sweet nature without having to smell the stench of the poor.

I shall spend time today as I please. Damn the duties.

No, dear diary, that I will not do. After all a man must carry on. It's off to the new school in Liverpool for me. Oh gad, it will be a sea of bloody wogs. God help me. Perhaps I'll take my hunting rifle along. Haha.

Tea this afternoon with Charles and Camilla. At least Camilla will bring some good nature. Charles, as usual, will make my damned eye twitch.

Dinner with mother, the French ambassador and twenty others. Bloody hell! Can a day get worse?


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