HRH Prince Phillip, Duke of Edinburgh - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 4 September 2008

Dear Diary,

Oh my. . . . it has been another dastardly day. The weather was fine for a walk but I did find persons in the park again. I'll have one more talk with the grounds keeper. If I then continue to see persons on the grounds I will have him sacked. (I would prefer to just shoot the curr!) I will have my privacy damn it!

I will not be bothered with having to see unsightly persons, blast it!

Truly it is my everlasting hope that I shall indeed be reincarnated as a virus that causes the most dreadful black pustules and agonizing death the world has ever seen. Damn it! There are too many of these dreadful persons cluttering the earth. I don't know how Mother Nature will ever recover from the drubbing she takes at the hands of all the slanty eyed and swarthy types who seem to never stop breeding like bats.

We had a nice tea with my favorite spotted dick and then later a dinner with old pals from the WWF. Of course they understood my bad temper after I described the awful day I'd had.

Well, dear diary, I shall hope for a better day tomorrow.

PP