Colonel Muammar Gaddafi - My Fake Diary

Monday, 16 May 2011

May 14th, 2011.

I am sick and tired of remaining hidden in my underground smoking room, smoking umpteen tasteless fake Havana cigars for which that slimey deserter Ulta Pasha has taken 50 dollars per piece. It takes a boxful of matches to light one properly...and the tricky two timer had the cheek to threaten me with telling the tunnel route to my lair to those unloyal backstabbers crying for my ouster,when I asked him to give my money back.

How ungrateful my countrymen can be..I gave equal chance to each one of them when selecting my wives..my sons gave employment to thousands in carrying costly national artefacts to safe hiding places..oh Damn !
.... another message from those obnoxious Swiss bankers..want 2 percent more on my accounts. Here I am struggling to find out a safe haven in Colombia where I could live safely when I leave,those Drug lords are increasing prices every hour..Everyone trying to get cut in my hard earned money saved from over thirty years of caring for these ungrateful countrymen.

Time to go on TV again to tell the world that I am still master of Libya..what a burden to carry all this equipment,camera,recorder,my makeup kit..let's hope the TV broadcaster has received the money I'd sent to broadcast my message. Oh what a bother to pay for even telling everyone that I'm still around..