Bruce Forsyth - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 5 October 2010

Bit of a fracas during rehearsal for "Strictly" today. Peter Shilton can't seem to grasp the Foxtrot. I would have thought that as an ex-footballer his footwork would have been better. He looked like a teddy bear wading through porridge.
The producer said to him that if he can't get it, he will pull him off. Shilton replied that if the producer laid one finger on his dick he'll pull his fucking head off!
What with that and Patsy Kensit shrieking like a barn owl, it's been a very trying day.