Barack Obama - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 12 February 2009

Shit! Just when I dragged that Mustapha Kamir jive turkey away from the brink of disaster, wid' all dem frogs n' stuff. Just when he be goin' to solve all them Middle East mofo's out, God goes an' throws in the towel an' resigns.

An who does the Holy Homie pick as his replacement? You betcha! Mustapha. I gotta say tho' bro' - I had no idea what Mustapha was sayin' half the time. Dat Limey got some strange way of jivin'.

On a better note, the democrat donkey and the republican elephant have finally agreed to my stimulus bill, and let it be. $750 billion buckaroos to help my people get off of welfare.

NASA have been talkin' to those smartass brothers in Fiji. They got some microelectronic shit that will raise an' lower the moon buggy suspension, usin' some laser shit to figure when there's a big rock comin'. Low Ridin' on da Moon. Dat da Bomb!

Lionel be workin' on changin' the words to The Star Spangled Banner. I want him to work on Hail to the Chief, but he say he can't do two things at once. It be takin' a long time cos he be goin' to the John next door to his office. Wish my bro' would jus' wear da bag, and let that shit flow in, but he be too proud. Truth be, the stink is bad. Bad as in bad, not good, if you feel me.