Andy "Handy" Doodler, the man with the world's smallest penis says that not only does he have the smallest penis, its not working right.
"I accepted Arlene Francis as my wife after seeing all those marriage requests in the mail and we got married six months ago. Everything in our sex life was fine and she never complained but now I can't get it up", sobbed Andy.
Andy stated that he always strapped on a dildo under his minihood and it did the trick, if you'll excuse the pun.
"Arlene was happy with the strap-ons. We have over 50 in different sizes and knobs and colors. She really likes glow-in-the-dark. Meanwhile I'd be fine using her navel. But now I just flop all over her belly. It's embarrassing. Of course, that doesn't affect Arlene a bit. Clawed my back till I look like I've been flogged."
Andy then stated that he has tried all the medications that are supposed to help.
"I've decided to take three different ones tonight. I have the hospital emergency room dialed and ready if the thing blows up. "
"And if it does explode, I get my name on a donor list!"