The penis of unsuccessful porn actor and successful murderer Stephen Hill ended its life today, carrying Hill along with it.
The Love Truncheon's last moments were caught on tape by stunned news crews, who told us what they saw:
"It looked like the police were getting ready to end the standoff, and they moved in. The suspect's Blue-veined Junket Pumper drug Hill over to the edge of a cliff, where it jumped."
The suspect's Pink Oboe fell 45 feet to its death, carrying Hill with it.
Video of the Veiny Doughnut Stake's apparent suicide was captured by news cameras Saturday. The video shows suspect Stephen Clancy Hill talking to police negotiators, while Hill's Pork Sword reiterate demands for cash and a getawaycar while a crowd of media watched. Hill and his Spunk Stick tumbled down the hillside after scooting to the ledge.
Police said Hill's Purple-headed Trouser Snake had repeatedly threatened suicide in the hours leading up to the fall, which came a day after murder and attempted murder charges had been filed against 34-year-old porn actor.
"It was bent on taking its own life," Deputy Chief Kirk Albanese said. "It's very unfortunate. We thought Mr. Hill and his Trouser Trout would be convinced not to kill themselves."