Andy "Handy" Doodler, the man with the world's smallest penis, was really celebrating at Curley's Bar Saturday night in Knoxville, Tennessee.
"Drinks are on the house, ladies and gents, I'm celebrating!"
"You mean you're celebrating having the smallest penis in the world?", joked Curley. "You were the one who stayed sweaty all through high school because you were afraid to get in the shower and show, or try to show, that you were a male! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Laughter all around. Smell penis jokes had been flying ever since the night Andy had came out of the dollhouse closet and began drinking with the rest of the guys at work.
"Yeah, even Mom used to get mad and yell, 'Andy, get your bug penis in here and take out this garbage!"
"Well, you guys won't be laughing now", stated Andy. "Listen to this: I have a six-page spread in December's issue of playgirl!"
"I'm taking bets, gentlemen!"
The only one was our reporter Chester Ingraham, who smelled a story.
"So why would Playgirl want YOU and your small package in their magazine?, asked Curley.
"Well....actually, I'm turned backwards. They said I had the cutest tightest little ass of any man they have ever seen. Now I'm glad the wife sent them the pics."