Written by Skoob1999
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Topics: TV, Penis, vagina, Channel 5

Sunday, 25 July 2010

image for Man With World's Largest Penis And Woman With World's Largest Vagina Signed Up By TV Channel
A Huge Erection In Toronto, Canada, This Morning

Fears among industry insiders that Channel 5 would be dumbed down to greater depths than ever before, following its recent purchase by media tycoon Ricardo Dismal were reinforced today by the announcement that the man with the world's largest penis and the woman with the world's largest vagina have been signed up as co-presenters for an undisclosed sum.

The announcement came from tea lady, Shilpa Shitti, who apparently overheard the matter being discussed as she was serving tea in the office across the hall.

"Is all true," Ms Shitti insisted. "I hear much jubilant cheers from Dismal orifice, and hear them say about man with largest cock and lady with voluminous vagina."

To traditionalists, expecting drama and classical music concerts from a minority TV channel, the news comes as a double-whammy, hot on the heels of a possible revival of Big Brother, and the promise of more 'celebrity' TV shows.

But insiders aren't in the least surprised. One confided in a Skoob News reporter:

"What do they expect from an owner who runs the Daily Jordan, Shaven Asian Babe Havens, and TV Sex? It's hardly highbrow entertainment, but it's guaranteed to draw in the late night 'alone with a box of Kleenex' type viewer who can't afford satellite or cable, and is too thick to use a computer. And with that will come the advertising revenue. Old Dismal can't lose with this one."

Reaction to the news has been mixed.

A writer for satirical website theSpoof.com told Skoob News:

"I hope to God that this is just an unfounded rumour. Our site has been swamped recently with stories about vaginas, cocks, and vuvuzelas stuck up people's - and donkey's - arses. I thought it would have died a natural death, but stuff like this on TV is just going to revive it all over again. It's a nightmare."

Bargis Tryhol, the former holder of the man with the world's largest penis title (before penis reduction surgery) speaking from his holiday hideaway in India told us:

"I think it's a great idea. That's exactly the kinda channel I'd watch. How do I subscribe?"

The world's leading 'vuvezela up the arse' authority, Monkey Woods, a Brit expat currently teaching and writing vuvuzela up the arse articles from his Bangkok mansion was too busy penning a vuvuzela up a great white shark's arse article to comment.

More as we get it.

Editor's note:- Permission to use original material from Bargis Tryhol and Monkey Woods in this article was sought after. But neither could be arsed to reply. So Skoob News said 'Fuck 'em' and decided to run it anyway.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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