Written by XRhonda Speaks
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Tuesday, 16 August 2016

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Donald Trump hopes that keeping his limo a lowrider will help him with the Hispanic vote.

One of Donald Trump's limousines was stolen back in March and has been turned into a lowrider limo complete with little chrome rims and a hydraulic suspension. The FBI is looking into how Yuri Vilcheny, originally from the Ukraine, ended up with the limo in his fleet of vehicles.

Vilcheny the owner of Five Star Limo in Trenton, New Jersey was questioned and released by FBI investigators. He spoke to this reporter by phone about the incident.

"I bought it [the limo] from some Russians who said they had it customized but wanted to get out of the business and they gave me a good title and everything--or so I thought. You know I keep all of my vehicles legal, I've never even had a traffic ticket."

Donald Trump has taken the incident in stride and has even talked about keeping the limo as it is.

"The Hispanics are going to love me even more now that I have a lowrider," Trump pandered. "I wonder if I could have them do that to my Jet? The paint job alone could put thousands of Hispanics to work," Trump said to the walls of his padded cell.

The FBI says the same two Russian men who sold Vilcheny the limo are also wanted in connection to the sales of stolen Mets tickets. One of the Russian men goes by the unlikely name of Robert Murphy and claimed to be with Interpol when he sold the stolen tickets to his victims. FBI officials say to contact local law enforcement if you see or have any information about the two men.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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