Results of a recent study have shown that beer contains levels of female hormones significantly high enough to affect the behaviour of male drinkers. While moderate amounts of alcohol have little or no visible effect on drinkers, the study found t...
The BBC revealed today that following an internal pilot study, it will not be re-introducing the popular TV show 'It's a Knock-out'. The show, which topped the ratings during the 70's and early 80's featured teams from different towns across the U...
In a week when the government has announced a £1bn upgrade of the Army's fleet of Warrior armoured vehicles, it has also revealed that the Army is to spend a similar amount upgrading its senior officers. Defence Secretary, Phillip Hammond explaine...
Now that one can no longer romp around the countryside chasing foxes on horseback... One's self on horseback, not the foxes you understand. One is obliged to take up other open-air activities during the week-end. Alongside shooting and seal-clubbing, one of the most invigorating pastimes that I've found is the riding of a motorcycle. But what motorized bicycle to purchase? For the beginne...
Lawyers for top London publishing house, Stodgy and Wristflick have announced that they will be taking civil action against the team that put together this years surprise best seller The Dorking Review A spokesman for S&W's lawyers said today...
TYNE. Big wetty. Not left right wetty. Up down wetty. Also windy, windy. Like bum after hot curry. No go there. Very bad. 987 falling. DOGGER. Like woof-woof or man making sex in car parking. 1053 falling. Not know what that mean. Maybe good. Maybe not. Precipitation soon. Not know what that mean either. WEIR. Scorchio. Very good. No windy windy. Like river back home. Number 1. 1015 ri...
It has been widely reported in the media (BBC, Telegraph, Manchester Evening News etc) that the current Conservative Party Conference will generate £27,000,000 for the local economy. A total of 13,000 delegates will each spend up to four days in t...
Dear Sir, Now that the nights are drawing-in, may I bring to your reader's attention the joys of Flower Arranging. The bright cheerful colours and hues of late-summer blooms can brighten up even the most dreary of rooms. I myself have just placed a vase of yellow tea-roses upon the kitchen table, where their subtle scent and delicate petals have a most pleasing effect. My boyfriend, David...
It has been reported that Britain's spy service, better known as MI6 has seized a number of copies of the satirical book: The Dorking Review This action has been taken following 'high level' pressure from members of the government's 'Public Order'...
The life of a police officer can be dreary and unfulfilling. The patrolling of damp, poorly-lit streets, the constant interaction with the dregs of society, the never ending paperwork...It's little wonder that most police officers are regarded by the public as morose and anally focused. But with the Metropolitan Police's 'Ballroom Dancing Tips for Front Line Officers' programme, the way is open...
A crowd of more than 20 people turned up at Trouser World in South Benfleet yesterday to see 70's television celebrity Keith 'Cheggers' Chegwin receive the prestigious title of 'Trouser Wearer of The Year 2011. A delighted Keith told us: "It's...
A study released yesterday by advertising agency, Penguin, Basket and Wristflick paints a disturbing picture for the nation's advertising industry. It claims that within five years there will no longer be sufficient advertising space available for...
Dear Sir, You are probably wondering what has become of your editor, Mr Lowton, as he has not been seen in your offices since last Thursday. The answer is simple: Your editor has been kidnapped, and is currently being held to ransom. He was taken by me during his lunch break, when he had popped out (as was his custom) to buy a sandwich from Greggs The Bakers across the road. I have been...
The new National Flag of the United States was unveiled to a packed audience of international journalists during a press conference at the White House in Washington today. The new flag is the result of a 24 million dollar, five year study by an al...
A bicycle that once belonged to the Nazi dictator, Adolf Hitler, has been discovered languishing in the back storeroom of a Viennese baker's shop. It is believed that the bicycle - a heavy, black-framed model of German manufacture, was used by Hit...
During a week when the problems of the Irish Bicycle Industry, have rarely been off the front pages, some good news has finally started to emerge. Ireland's largest bicycle manufacturer - County Down Bicycles of County Down, - which employs a staf...
Dear Sir, I wonder if you have any positions within your organisation for journalists? I have worked as a senior reporter for the News of The World for the past 12 years TITS! Sorry about that. Anyway, since leaving university, BUMS! Sorry, it's just happened again. It's the training you see. When I was at Wapping, if we didn't put anything eye-catching in we would get a severe dressing down f...
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