Esteemed Nevada Cultural Anthropologist, Diane J Poor has branded leading Spoofologists as 'Cultural Terrorists' over their overwhelming support for Breast Appreciation Day.
"It's demeaning to women," Poor told us. "Why the fascination with breasts? Shapely or otherwise? What could possibly fascinate males or lesbians about a well rounded breast with a proud upstanding nipple? A nipple that could be gently nuzzled with tongue and teeth, sucked and venerated as the cradle of creation? I just don't get it."
Father Francois Dubois, a priest of this parish begged to differ with the divine Diane's assessment.
"We all love a shapely pair of boobs. There's no denying that. When I entered the priesthood I had to eschew boobs. It was a tough call. Boobs really are one of the great Creator's most wondrous inventions. They transfix us. They spellbind us. And when they're a bit damp, and thrusting, with outstanding points, all thought goes out of the window."
"That's just nonsense," Diane J Poor told us. "It's a fantasy world you're living in..."
At which point, Father Francois DuBois, unable to contain himself any longer, launched an oral attack on the outstanding breastiture of the divine Miss Diane.
"What are you doing?" she protested.
"Ooh no. Don't stop now. It's really rather nice. Is that a revolver in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"
"Ooh Frankie...that is so nice..."
At which point we made a tactical withdrawal.
No feminists were injured in the reporting of this article.
