Dali's Secretary Dead

Funny story written by misha marinsky

Friday, 30 December 2005

image for Dali's Secretary Dead
Painting Capt. Moore Trapped In

CADAQUES - John Peter Moore, Salvador Dali's former personal secretary, has died at age 86 after being trapped in a Dali painting for forty-five years, the Cadaques coroner's office reported. The coroner's office confirmed Mr. Moore's identity after a comparison of paintings and photographs taken over the years. The authenticity of Mr. Moore's provenance was sadly signed off on by his wife, Catherine Perrot.

An Irishman, John Peter Moore was better known as Captain Moore, because the names Captain Crunch and Captain Schweppes were already taken.

His shriveled body was found beneath the painting he had been trapped in.

Cadaques is a seaport on the Catalonian eastern coast of Spain, and he ran a gallery there for many years, using his wife Ms. Perrot, as a proxy.

John Peter Moore and Salvador Dali met in 1955 during the filming of Richard III when they were introduced by the film's director, and Mr. Moore and his wife Catherine, settled in Cadaques soon afterwards.

After leaving the employ of Mr. Dali, Mr. Moore opened the gallery along with his wife Ms. Perrot, before becoming trapped in the painting.

Dali painted Captain Moore into a cage, after Mr. Dali discovered that the Captain had been stealing from him. Nevertheless, Mr. Moore had been able to communicate with his wife Catherine, and continued to reap huge profits from paintings - some of which were stolen, unauthorized reproductions, forgeries, and other ill gotten artifacts of the famous Spanish painter.

Patrons of Mr. Moore's and Ms. Perrot's gallery were sometimes disoriented by the painting Captain Moore was trapped in. Art patrons around the world have become accustomed to Salvador Dali's world of dripping watches and other surrealistic visions of not just Mr. Dali, but the entire oeuvre of the Surrealism movement.

Nevertheless, that particular painting caused gallery patrons to complain of vertigo, among other maladies, some of which were long lasting, such as nausea. When patrons mentioned to Ms. Perrot that they were positive there was movement in that one particular painting, they were met with an icy stare and a stony silence. Some patrons were overheard saying they would never return to that particular gallery, even though it was owned by the missing Captain Moore, and the ever present Ms. Perrot.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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