Humans make contact with aliens - from the Galactic Credit Rating Agency

Funny story written by MonkeyInTheBath

Wednesday, 17 August 2011

image for Humans make contact with aliens - from the Galactic Credit Rating Agency
Gullible aliens borrow Earth money at stupidly high rates

For decades, or even centuries, humans have dreamed and wondered about what would happen when contact was made by alien beings from outer space. This morning, it finally happened.

An alien spacecraft landed in a field near Washington DC, and two tall humanoid beings asked a startled farmer, "Take me to your leader." The farmer said he was sure the aliens were laughing as they made the cliched query. He described them as about 7ft tall, grey and wearing metallic spacesuits.

The farmer drove them to the White House, where President Barack Obama met them, and spoke to them for about an hour in private before they left again in their spaceship.

Obama made a long speech to global TV networks following the meeting. He said that he had at first explained to the aliens that he was not the President of Earth but only of the richest country on Earth. The aliens had then asked to meet whoever was President of Earth or as close to it as possible. Obama told them that there was no President of Earth, but "I'm the nearest thing." He also joked that it was a good thing they hadn't landed in China.

He then explained that the aliens have visited for an important reason. The whole galaxy is massively in debt, and the aliens are wondering if they can borrow some money from Earth. The aliens belong to a Galactic Credit Rating Agency, and their initial visit is just to check out the Earth's economy to see whether Earth money is safe to introduce into the galactic financial system. Obama assured the aliens that the Earth's economy is booming, but just not in the USA or any other rich Western countries.

Obama also agreed with the aliens that they can borrow some Earth funds, pending agreement by various countries, and they hope to get a good loan rate of about 10%. It is thought that the Earth's financial problems could be completely resolved if all of our debts can be refinanced into alien loans.

As Obama said, "We now know that we are not the only beings in the Universe - we are not a loan."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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