Marmite Ban In Denmark Provokes Strong UK Response

Funny story written by grimbo

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

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Denmark's banning of Marmite, the UK's favourite savoury spread, has provoked a massive response from British authorities.

All books written by Hans Christian Anderson, including The Ugly Duckling, are to be thrown on bonfires built outside libraries and primary schools, while Premiership players such as Arsenal's Nicholas Bendtner, Liverpool's Christian Poulsen and Daniel Agger have been advised by the Danish embassy in London to return home post haste as their "safety can no longer be guaranteed".

All photos of Peter Schmeichel have been taken down the walls in Old Trafford

No music by Whigfield is to be allowed on any radio playlists (no change there) and Fisheries Minister Richard Benyon has imposed an immediate ban on the landing of any herring, mackerel or eels.

Ryvita has been taken off all supermarket shelves and the song "Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen" from the Danny Kaye classic film "The Little Mermaid" has been dubbed over and changed to "Abhorrent Abhorrent Copenhagen".

But apart from that, nothing much to report.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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