Homeless in NYC: DSK Reduced to Taking Room in YMCA , Harlem Residents 'can't wait!'

Funny story written by Morse

Friday, 20 May 2011


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image for Homeless in NYC: DSK Reduced to Taking Room in YMCA , Harlem Residents 'can't wait!'
Jailer Describing DSK's Penis Monitor Bracelot!

Dominique Strauss-Kahn, the IMF Pariah suffering from Priapism, was forced to take a room at the YMCA after several exclusive rental apartments and Manhattan Co-ops refused to put the French Dandy up, no matter what the price.

DSK was faced with the alternative of returning to the Rikers Island Resort unless he secured lodging as part of his $6M bail guarantee put up by his wife, and secured by his priceless collection of Japanese Erotic Art housed in a thermostatically controlled environment , along with his collection of vintage wines from France dating back to the 1700's.

His wife's first choice of apartment, which they thought they had secured included MAID SERVICE, and was available for $8800 a month, a big step down to DSK's usual standard of living which included hotel suites while on the road for up to $3,000 per night, plus a la carte Pussy.

According to LeEscargot, a select French magazine catering to sophisticated European men with a hormone problem and a penchant for 'pousser', the door to the offer was quickly slammed shut when apartment owners refused to submit themselves to DSK's intrusive 24 hour security guards, non stop bell ringing by reporters, and picketing Socialists claiming
"justice" for their choice for President of the Republic.

In a last minute arrangement lodging was secured at the Harlem YMCA located at 180 W. 135th Street, only steps from the Apollo Theater and world famous Slyvia's Soul food restaurant.

According to the management staff DSK will be taking the entire 4th floor and there will be a lock out on the elevator which DSK demanded so that 'a horde of oversexed black babes don't try to do me...I've got enough trouble!"

Security staff, which DSK is required to pay, will be costing him $200k a month, but with the just announced golden parachute from the IMF of an undisclosed lump sum plus $318,000 a year tax free, and additional benefits, he may just get by.

According to his herd of attorney's, DSK will be celebrating his 'freedom' with his wife and daughter dining on Southern Fried Chicken, collards, Shrimp 'n Grits, followed by Sweet Potato pie.

Tonight's entertainment is reportedly "The Village People" who will be performing in the shower room where DSK will be under 'close surveillance", and not be allowed to remove his GPS Penis Monitoring Bracelet.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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