24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"

Written by anthonyrosania

Thursday, 19 May 2011

image for 24 Jews Ascended Into Heaven Banished For Scalping Tickets for "Seats Close To God"
Insert joke here.

Heaven's celestial scribe revealed via his Twitter feed, DaMetatron, that 24 Jews that ascended into Heaven during May 21st's Rapture were banished for scalping bogus tickets for what they characterized as "Seats Close To God".

"They're in here by the skin of their teeth and then f--k up this bad?" said Metatron, the highest of the angels, who also runs NotATransformer.web, via Twitter. "#PwnedByGod."

"Look, there are no bad seats in Heaven. The acoustics are fantastic," said Jesus Christ on Piers Morgan Tonight, which is being hosted by recently revealed Megademon Nancy Grace. "The Jews are only in here because my dad promised them, and they are up to shenanigans like this?"

"BTW, Jews: Thanks for crucifying me, you a--holes. That hurt!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more