New Study Compares Bathroom Usage of Men And Women

Funny story written by Pariah

Wednesday, 11 May 2011

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Life is like toilet.

A new study has discovered that how a person uses the bathroom tells a lot about how they interact in the real world.

"It's really quite amazing. You'd think there would be no connection, butt urine for a surprise," joked Inda Crapper, founder of the Toilet Hall of Fame and distant relative of Thomas Crapper, inventor of the flush toilet.

One example is that constipated people tend to be under more pressure and press harder to break through obstacles they encounter. Diarhetics tend to be more rushed and more prone to liquidating their assets. Incontinent people tend to just go with the flow.

Aside from just individual character traits, the study identified a distinct difference between men and women (beside the obvious of standing versus sitting).

"Men are pretty solitary in their bathroom use, usually going by themselves, and as such are fairly individualistic. This leads to their being more prone to adopting a loner mentality toward life and increased likelihood of being impatient toward having basic needs met in life," Crapper explained. "Women, however, tend to go to the bathroom in groups. This leads to increased sociability between women as well as their ability to openly discuss personal matters. Another interesting fact is that due to going in groups, women are more likely to have to wait in lines to use the bathroom. As a result, women are better an minding their pee in queues."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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