Designer mosquitoes to end malaria forever

Written by Aspartame Boy

Thursday, 21 April 2011

image for Designer mosquitoes to end malaria forever
The new mosquitoes are all the buzz

Bethesda Maryland - Dr. Whineez, of a secret lab here, believes he is able to change the DNA of wild mosquitoes in order to end malaria.

In his lab, he made a gene invade an entire controlled population of mosquitoes, by just starting with one 'infected' Mosquito.

The process works to cause the 'infected' mosquito to modify any malaria virus that it has to a more lethal, fast acting variety. Thus, when the mosquito bites a victim, that victim is dead in five hours. The victim's organs explode violently, often with thunderous cracks, spreading the disease to friends and family.

This causes the malaria to burn through a population quickly and thus destroy the hosts, ending the disease forever.

The UN Special Population Solution Committee also points out that this will reduce populations in over-crowded areas around the world.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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