F.B.I. Begin Hunt for Terrorist Butterfly

Funny story written by Marcus Laputa

Thursday, 8 September 2005

image for F.B.I. Begin Hunt for Terrorist Butterfly
The new terrorist threat?

Inspired by the popular science notion that a butterfly flapping its wings in one part of the world can cause a hurricane in another part of the world, the F.B.I. has begun a search for the butterfly that was responsible for the recent Hurricane Katrina.

Speaking at a press conference yesterday, Dirk Schnyder, a Spokesperson for the F.B.I., admitted, "that the F.B.I. was considering the possibility that Hurricane Katrina may have been the result of animal terrorist activity and very possibly the work of a single butterfly."

He then moved to quell suggestions that this admission was just a publicity stunt intended to deflect attention away from the accusations of government inactivity that came in the wake of the New Orleans disaster, "the F.B.I. has always, and will always, do its utmost to protect the people of the U.S.A. regardless of whether the threat is posed by humans or animals."

Details of where the searches are to take place have been withheld from the press so as to not jeopardies the investigation. However, sources close to the F.B.I. have claimed that the search is to be largely confined to countries with a strong Al-Qaeda presence, fueling speculation that the F.B.I. believes that this may be a part of a wider plot to train animals to act against the U.S.

Although the idea of animals getting involved in terrorist activity has not previously entered the public consciousness, it is not new to those who are involved in the study of threats to U.S. security. Prof. Dennis Kroft , speaking from his office in Harvard University, claimed that the threat posed by animals was, "obvious to anybody with eyes in their head".

Prof. Kroft who, in 1962, controversially claimed that parents should kill their children if they suspected them of being communist, has been studying the methods employed by terrorists over the last thirty years, and has said that the threat posed by animal terrorists may be the greatest threat the U.S. has ever faced.

"The main problem is our lack of knowledge about the issue," he said. "We don't know how much training a butterfly would need to perform an act like this. For all we know Al-Qaeda could have already trained hundreds, if not thousands of butterflies to perform acts like these. We'd better wake up and face up to this threat before it's too late."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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