New Orleans Looters Suffer Foot Problems

Funny story written by Morgan Truce

Tuesday, 6 September 2005

image for New Orleans Looters Suffer Foot Problems
....the looter's best friend.

In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina the first "early responders" were not FEMA or Red Cross relief teams. The National Guard was yet many miles away. Stepping into this complete void, teams of highly talented looters braved the rising floodwaters to run on foot and swim from store to store gathering the urgent necessities of life in post-Katrina New Orleans.

Bread and milk were among the basic food staples that looters quickly gathered. Soon it was evident that the looters would need wrist watches to keep track of the time until final rescue could be expected. Wide-screen TV's were gathered so that the desperate hurricane victims could watch clearly the six tiny images broadcast on Wolf Blitzer's Situation Room --- you can't watch that show on any TV that is not at least 36 inches wide. Designer clothes became a very hot commodity when all the folks started figuring out that rescue helicopters were favoring people who looked well dressed.

The favorite tool of these urban looters became the large plastic box. Any kind of large watertight container could be pressed into service as a makeshift boat for all the looted goods. The most successful looters had the good sense to use the largest plastic box they could steal.

The major obstacle to all this looting activity was the major danger looters faced in terms of foot injury. Below the surface of floodwaters were many hazards including broken glass, jagged metal, smashed crack pipes, and hunger-frenzied alligators. By the second day of looting, hundreds of looters became disabled with various foot problems. Miracle Foot Repair Cream to the rescue! The manufacturer of this marvelous foot cream understood the dilemma faced by the New Orleans looters and immediately dispatched several truck loads of their 25% Bonus Size Miracle Foot Repair Cream.

Years from now, when the history of the Hurricane Katrina disaster is written in history books, much will be said about the role of Miracle Foot Repair Cream in helping the looters continue in their vital mission.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more