America Is My Friend

Funny story written by Kid Icarus

Saturday, 5 February 2011

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Friends of America say they understand the deal.

LEGAL LOONEY FARM - A man who was a loyal friend of U.S. troops, and who bravely fought along side of them during the Vietnam war, will not be buried at Arlington National Cemetery. His patriotic family received the devastating news while waving small American flags in front of a cheering crowd of supporters.

His name was Major General Vang Pao and he led thousands of Hmong soldiers into battle to defend U.S. troops who fought against the North Vietnamese Army.

Richard Blumenthal, argued that Major General Vang Pao was a faithful friend who risked his own life to save the lives of U.S. troops who dependented on his knowledge of the terrain and his ability to lead intelligence forces into enemy ranks to attain vital information. "Without him, I don't think many of us would have came back alive." said Blumenthal.

Blumenthal spoke on behalf of the Pao family and asked the Army to grant an exception to Arlington's rules to allow Pao to be buried in the nation's most honored grave site where ex-convicts and unemployed, homeless vets have been buried.

The request was reviewed by a board comprised of senior military and civilian officials. After heavy thinking, the board unanimously recommended denial of the request for exception to the policy and the board's explanation of their decision is that anyone stupid enough to aide America in a time of crisis should know better than to trust human nature and man made laws.

After reviewing the matter, the Secretary accepted the board's recommendation and advised people around the world never to help America in any shape or form because they will get the same treatment as Major General Vang Pao. "The facts are clear in this issue and people around the world have to believe what you see." said the Secretary.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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