Olympic Flame to be extinguished, say green campaigners

Written by Angus McFiddle

Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Olympic Flame to be extinguished, say green campaigners

The Olympic Flame is to be extinguished to help save the planet following a campaign by eco charity GreenPolice.

The announcement follows a year-long campaign by the pressure group to force the International Olympic Committee to face up to its global warming responsibility.

A GreenPolice spokesperson said, "It's ridiculous in this day and age, when we are all trying to burn less fossil fuels, that the Olympic Committee is allowed to keep its flame going 24 hours a day, 265 days a year. not to mention the cost of air and road travel to transport it all over the world.

"What we have proposed to the Committee, and they have accepted in principle, is the idea that they extinguish the Flame and only light it when the Olympics starts. To prevent the cost of transportation, we have negotiated with Bic, the cigarette lighter people, to be able to use their cigarette lighters in the hosting country for the duration of the event."

However, a spokesperson for the Olympic Committee said no final decision had been taken to extinguish the Flame.

"We're looking at alternative sources of energy," he said, "one idea we have is to harness the energy generated by all the drug-taking athletes and capture this in some way. We think this would be enough to keep 20 Flames going."

A scientist who was asked for a quote to make this story more factual and impartial said, "GreenPolice is being silly. The Olympic Flame doesn't use fossil fuels and it isn't harming the environment. I think it uses some special stuff you buy from one of those Chinese shops that burns for, like, ever. It's really cheap as well."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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