Pope's Stance Over Names Leads To Satanic Confusion

Funny story written by Ellis Ian Fields

Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for Pope's Stance Over Names Leads To Satanic Confusion
What's in a name?

The Pope's assertion that parents should use Bible-inspired names for their children could have unexpected and unwanted results, experts warn.

Apparently, the head of the Roman Catholic Church is concerned at the spread of names inspired by celebrity, such as Ashton, Lily, Scarlett or Siena.

Pope Gregory said during a mass that a name was an "indelible seal" that set children offf on a lifelong "journey of religious faith."

It is not known how he feels about Muslims naming their boys Mohammed.

However, head of Comparative Religion and Religious Studies at the University of Thames Valley East, Palmyra Lambrusco, said: "Greg needs to be careful over this. It's all very well wishing for a return to more traditional names, like Andrew, James or what-have-you.

"But urging people to use bible-inspired names could have unexpected results.

"Just yesterday, a local priest called me for advice over a couple who wanted to call their twin boys Satan and Beelzebub.

"How long will it be before we see girls being baptized Ashtoreth or young lads wandering around under the moniker Baal?

"No. I think Greg needs to rethink this one."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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