WikiLeaks Releases Naughty/Nice List

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Saturday, 11 December 2010


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That Label Won't Be Needed Any More

LAPLAND & NEW YORK - WikiLeaks, the whistle-blowing website, has leaked names to the naughty/nice list for Santa Claus.

The list, which has been one of the planet's most well-kept secret by a private organisation, was leaked yesterday evening, and will be published in the newspapers that the site has links with tomorrow.

Already, several names have come to the forefront of the 200-gigabyte letter. Here are several top names and notes by the Claus himself on the list:

DAVID CAMERON, U.K. PRIME MINISTER 1200 Bad Points, 200 Nice Points. 1100 points added to Bad side for raising tuition fees.

STAFF AT FOX NEWS 987,098 Bad points, .01 Nice points. Points added cause they are illogical twats.

SPOOFERS AT THESPOOF.COM 0 Bad points, 98bn Nice points. Points taken away from bad side due to festive banner on site header.

BARACK OBAMA, U.S. PRESIDENT 200 BP, 2300 GP. Guy needs a break from all that persecution by his people. Added several hundered GP for passing health-care reform.

Many people are outraged at the leaks.

"Why do we have so many bad points?" said a FOX 'journalist'. "Just cause we're dickheads."

Santa Claus has blamed many of his elves for sending the leaks to WikiLeaks, declaring 'Assange will get no presents for the next 200 years', prompting the digitalised equipment in the Santa HQ in Lapland to go haywire.

As of press time, a giant parcel landed on my doorstep. Woohoo! A new TV for moi!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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