God tells pope to rescind the condoms edict

Funny story written by IainB

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

image for God tells pope to rescind the condoms edict
John Paul would never have allowed condoms

God has been in contact with Pope Benedict DIVVI over his Papal ruling that condoms are acceptable in extreme circumstances, stating through a burning chrysanthemum bush that there are no extreme circumstances extreme enough to warrant the use of a condom.

"God is mightily annoyed with Benny," said Arch-Bishop Basher, one of God's most trusted inside sources. "He told me through a burning hyacinth bush that the Catholic church wouldn't even exist if God had used a condom whilst conceiving Jesus."

The Pope is held by many Catholics to be the conduit through which God speaks to the people of Earth, and this news that God is contradicting his conduit has come as a shock to the system that could only be matched by a second coming announcing that Elvis was an alien.

There is the makings of a schism in the Church of Christ after this announcement, for it is not every day that a burning hawthorn bush speaks to somebody able to hear its message.

"Burning bushes are strictly Old Testament," said Vatican insider, Father Ian Cider. "New Testament miracles tends to be about feeding people on a budget."

If what Arch-Bishop Basher is saying is true, this could be the start of a new church, split on the belief that Condoms, or rather the lack of them, are responsible for birth of the Catholic Church.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot