Written by Noddy Bigears

Friday, 22 April 2005

WASHINGTON Apr, 2005 - Alleged Sept. 11 conspirator Zacarias Moussaoui was set to plead not guilty Friday to terrorism charges since, to do so would mean the crimes carry a possible death sentence. However, with such a high profile and delicate case, it has been decided to use an external impartial Judge Dread, Pope Benedict XVI and the trial will be held without Jury at the fully renovated Roman Coliseum.

His criminal trial was to have been a multi-media showcase detailing the horror of the al-Qaida terrorist network but those plans would be scrapped after the not guilty plea to a six-count indictment and the lack of any evidence at all although 300,000 US soldiers are still searching the Iraq deserts for any clues.

Things are made worse due to the fact that he was picked up in August 2001 after arousing suspicion at a Minnesota MacDonalds outlet due to his heavy French accent, but Moussaoui was transformed from an immigration violator into a terrorist defendant three months after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks as the US investigation could not find anybody else at all despite the fact that he had been incarcerated the entire time. The prosecution was really struggling to create any case at all and creating a major embarrassment for the US Administration.

However, Pope Benedict XVI has created a massive legal loop hole for the US Administration, he has declared that Muslims are not part of the Western World and that the Roman Catholic Faith is the only religion. This has freed the US Administration to send Moussaoui to his death by mortal combat in the Roman City Coliseum without enduring any legal issues.

From now on, in the future anybody caught on a range of charges including conspiracy to commit acts of US ridicule, commit US music piracy, destroy US myths, be rude to US government employees and destroy US ideals will be sent to a gladiators death. The first four charges carry a maximum sentence of death and the last of several deaths at the same time.

Some legal experts say Moussaoui's decisions seem to make no sense, unless he wanted to die of old age in prison with a legal case that would progress for decades.

Judge Dread, Pope Benedict XVI said, "this way, we can be certain that he will not be deprived of neither his freedom nor his martyrdom even if he feels the way he can achieve that lofty state is simply to not admit to the crimes that he could not have committed."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Terrorism, Death

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