North Korea and Iran gain seats on 'Liberty and Freedom'; the new UN organisation

Funny story written by Anoying-Mouse

Thursday, 25 November 2010

North Korea and Iran are have gained permanent seats on the new super-agency of the UN. The agency's purpose is to promote liberty and freedom. That's the core, central beliefs of the new agency.

"We believe this is a step in the right direction. We believe that these two countries have shown time and time again that they are capable of providing both social and economical freedom," said Morris James of The Humans Rights Association.

The agency is to be called 'UN Liberty and Freedom'. After many years of delays due to members such as United Kingdom and USA, who are known for their abysmal record for human rights and freedom, unwillingness to recognize the human right's achievements of Iran and North Korea. It was finally approved by the General Assembly in May and is to be set up in September.

It will bring together two existing UN boards (UNESCO [United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization ] and ICJ [International court of Justice]) and form a single-powered entity.

Its main purpose is to focus and fund various different human-right organisations and encourage social freedom, this will be done through its head, current Sudan President, Omar al-Bashir, to raise the profile of the organisation.

There are currently 10 other non-permanent seats on the board but 15 candidates. It features countries such as Burma, Libya and Syria.

On those three countries listed above, John Smith of Liberty Today (a human right think tank), says:

"Given these countries measurable record, their candidacy seems like a easy win. They are the epitome of freedom and liberty and have what it takes to help those that are still living without basic liberties."

An Iranian news organisation has been taking polls of the living standards of its country. It interviewed 10 million citizens from across the country. Here is a brief outline of the results:

When asked 'on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your economical freedom', unsurprisingly 100% of the respondents answered 10.

When asked 'one a scale of 1 to 10, how would democratic would you say this country is', again 100% of the respondents answered 10.

When asked 'one a scale of 1 to 10, how restricted is your freedom of speech/action/assemble, and again 100% of the respondents agreed with each other, and answered 1

The polls were taken by one of the most reliable and widely watched/read TV channels/newspapers in Iran, Press TV.

Kim Jong-il stylishly showed what his country views of him and their social and economical principles by (voluntarily) asking them to line up and answer the questions in a straight line by placing a placard over their heads. All 23,906,070 citizens of North Korea turned up to the voluntary event to show their support. They stated Kim Jong-il asked them to volunteer for the event and they eagerly accepted.

There has been some debate and anger about two countries in particular (Sweden and France). Human right activist acknowledge that there are countries such as Italy and Germany, who have a poor track record, yet gain seats. But they believe these two countries in particular systematically violate civil liberties.

In Sweden, non-intellectual citizens are allowed to vote! This has caused the country significant economical as well as social issues. Both North Korea and Iran say this country is an example of why direct democracy doesn't work and describe the country as a 'tyranny for the non-intellectualist'.

France is a problem for this new organization. It is infamous for establishing 'Universal Declaration against Human Rights'. A charter in which the violation of human rights, should be a universal concept and encouraged around the world.

Kim Jong-il stated:

"In my country only the intellectuals get a say. The intellectuals are decided by me, the most intellectual of them all. I got a 2400/2400 on my SAT and a 1st from 5 different North Korean universities without even attending there. It's only right that the intellectuals get to rule a country. Why should non-economist decide the economical policy of a country? Do you want a repeat of Zimbabwe where my dear friend Mugabe pleaded with his people that printing more money wasn't the solution? He reiterated constantly that it wasn't as simple as that but them being non-intellectuals decided against his advice, look at their state of affairs now."

African countries have made their sentiments towards European countries very clear. It stated that the "white man has no right to rule us once again and dictate what we can and can not do, after all they are one of the most immoral people of earth. This is shown through their love for the homosexuals people. A recent study by the Ugandan government has shown disturbing results regarding homosexuals such as their love for excrete." The Islamic world feels as though this is another attempt to increase the influence of Israeli government on the world and has stated that it will not participate in this 'kaffir ideology' or bow down to 'Palestinian occupying, Freemasonry/Illumanti practising, homosexual Israel'.

There has also been some inter-debating between North Korea and Iran. Iran believes it should have extra veto power due to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad being a relative of Ruhollah Khomeini (who is has been described as the mother teresa of the middle east due to his involvement in the Iranian revolution which changed the lives of so many Iranians for the better and constant charitable acts such as going to orphanages and asking children to draw a portrait of him to increase their art ability). Ruhollah Khomeini also established the Tehran convention which includes rules and regulations of war.

But, North Korea acknowledges this, however argues that Ahmadinejad is also a relative of Cyrus of Persia, the man who laid out the foundations for the 'Universal Declaration against Human Rights'. Kim Jong-il also argues that he is a relative of Pol Pot, who was one of the first leaders who applied the Tehran convention as well as being one of the most loved and popular leaders of humanity. The debate continues.

Both countries however, agreed that Israel has no place in the organisation whilst welcoming and encouraging Hamas to continue its efforts in establishing peace in the Middle East.

In other news, Sarah palin will take an IQ test. Can she score higher than intellectuals such as George Bush and Tony Blair? Find out in the next edition

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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