The Pope, Ratty Von Smallhausen, has issued a clarification of his position on condoms. Pope Von Smallhausen said "Condom use is perfectly acceptable in the following situations: for drug mules, stag-dos and for practical jokers."
"Obviously, if a drug mule was to use a condom to smuggle class A drugs, in their stomach, through customs, this would be acceptable. Also, if during a stag-do, one of the revellers was to inflate a condom, in a comedic vay, and place it over his head, this too would be acceptable to us.
"Finally, if a practical joker was fill a condom with water, to make projectile which exploded on impact when dropped from a second floor window, this would also be okay. In fact, we used to do this at cemenary school -Oh the hoots and highjinks that ver had! It is only if the condom ends up, in some vay over the end of the penis, that we would would, potentially, have a problem."
