Vatican Orders Several Hundred Full-Body Scanners for Use in Worldwide Rectories

Written by Charpa93

Wednesday, 17 November 2010

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With the advent (no pun intended) of the new full-body scanning technology being used by worldwide airports, the Pope has asked makers of the devices to set aside several hundred for purchase by the Vatican.

Using the excuse that one can never be too careful these days about who is brining what into church, including various weaponry, several cardinals convinced the Pope that having the full-body scanners at some of the larger churches and rectories around the world would be an important safeguard for church personnel as well as congregations.

However, Catholic Church detractors claim there is another reason the full-body scanners are being purchased and installed in the various rectories and it has nothing to do with weaponry. Needless to say, the cardinals believe the machines will help put an end to some of the unholy actions of the priests by diverting their attention in a more healthful way.

No one in the Church actually believes these machines will do the job the Vatican intends, but the alternative of turning their backs on the problem hoping it will go away hasn't quite worked the way they intended either.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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