Written by P.M. Wortham

Monday, 15 November 2010

image for North Korea Develops Theme Park to Curb Rise in Defections
Kimmy Mouse theme park on the North Korea / South Korea border.

Concerned over the public image of its citizenry defecting to South Korea in mass numbers, the North Korean government will begin construction of a new 40,000 acre theme park aimed at those North Koreans who don't find current lifestyle or leadership to be "fun" anymore.

Tentatively named Kim's Funland, and administered by the Ministry of Peoples Allegiance, Indoctrination and Normalcy, dissatisfied North Korean citizens simply need to show up at the gates and the Ministry of P.A.I.N. will grant free access. "Our goal is to accommodate anyone who isn't happy with life in North Korea", says Minister Kim Jong Po, (supposedly no relation). "We will be more than happy to take care of our unhappy guests and change their entire attitude about North Korea with one visit."

The park will be constructed along the border between North and South Korea, across the geographic area seeing the largest defections and will be adorned by high perimeter walls and 20 foot fences. "Those are to block the view of the park, helping to insure the mystery and wonderment of the attractions inside, nothing more", says Po.

South Korean news teams who fly over the border can view construction progress, but don't report any theme rides or attractions inside the walls, just large gathering areas, large projection screens and an occasional port-o-potty.

Publicly responding to what was viewed as western criticism, Po replied, "Yes, well our goal is to show them video of how terrible things are in the South or in the rest of the Western world, then they will rightfully feel better about living in the greatest family run country in the world!".

Finishing the interview, Po asked if we could sneak him into our network van and escort him to the South. "I've always wanted to buy a pair of Italian shoes", said the burgeoning capitalist.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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