Born Again Christians get 'Clapland' approval

Funny story written by Deafo

Thursday, 4 November 2010

image for Born Again Christians get 'Clapland' approval
Entrance fees are said to be 'prohibitive'

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's office has confirmed Born Again Christians have been given permission to construct a theme park on the outskirts of California.

The theme park, 'Clapland' has been criticised in some quarters for making money from God in a way not seen since Judas Escariot kissed a man in the garden of Gethsemane.

A spokesperson defended the project saying, 'This park has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with promoting the word of God.'

He was unable to say which particular word of God's was being promoted, and this has caused some in fighting amongst key stakeholders in the project.

'It's like going to market without branding. God needs to make a decision, and then let us know what that is. ASAP.'

Lapland residents have complained at the crass bastardization of their country, and the connotations to St Nicholas' alter ego 'Father Christmas.'

In response, a new bill has been rushed through called 'Santa's clause' which was drafted to prevent his image being used during any period outside the month of December.

Born Again Christian Tom Bruise said, ''Father Christmas' in the western world is a welcome intruder. Anywhere else outside of this he is a comically dressed burglar who would probably be executed. We fail to see why he is being given such protection.'

Rides are said to include 'The Re-birth' and 'The Afterlife,' which consists of a darkened tunnel, with a light at the end of it interspersed with a flashing image of a smiling granddad.

Epileptics have been told to 'stay away.'

Clapland is due to open Dec 2011.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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