Pope Puts Priests in Chastity Belts

Funny story written by French Marilyn

Tuesday, 9 November 2010


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Forced chastity for Priests

Pope Benedict XV1 will during the Consistory he has called for November 20 announce that all priests will be fitted with chastity belts.

This unprecedented papal decision has been reached to stop priests from indulging in any kind of sexual activity, even masturbation. However, the pope's initial idea was to stop priests from sexually abusing young boys.

Once the belt has been fitted it will be sealed which will make its removal impossible. The Vatican is now training undertaker priests in how to remove it on the death of a wearer.

The belt is made of specially-reinforced cotton. A first model of leather, rubber and metal was rejected by the pope.

Said a spokesperson for the pope: "Leather, rubber and metal might have been a turn-on and therefore the belts would have had quite a disastrous affect on priestly morality."

He added: "Urinating should not be a problem as the belt will have a minuscule strategically-placed flap that will automatically open for one second every five hours. The belt's designers have ensured us that a wearer would not be able to use the opening of the flap for any other activity."

The Holy See has refused to reveal whether Pope Benedict will himself be fitted with the chastity belt.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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