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Funny story: Pope Francis to Eliminate Celibacy for Priests--Nun Surprised

Pope Francis to Eliminate Celibacy for Priests--Nun Surprised

Standing before a congregation of jubilant priests and journalists from around the globe, Pope Francis announced termination of celibacy for male clergy under 50 years old. In making the historic announcement, the Pope cited workplace safety. "I can...

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Funny story: Trendy Vicar buys trainers that were trendy in the 1980's

Trendy Vicar buys trainers that were trendy in the 1980's

Colin Braithwaite, a northern vicar, has bought some trainers that were briefly popular in the 1980s. He told us 'I saw these trainers on-line on eBay and thought that what I need as a trendy vicar, is some trendy trainers, to go with my trendy ta...

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Funny story: Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn

Pope Francis to Allow Masturbation, But Only Among Priests and Only with Biblically-themed Porn

THE VATICAN—Pope Francis, in his new encyclical Masturbationes Licit, has now opened the practice of masturbation to some, but not all, Catholics. Said Pope Francis, “Given that our esteemed clergy appear to have—how do you say?—too much unrequited...

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Funny story: Catholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide

Catholic Priest Was "Only Joking" About Boy's Suicide

A Catholic priest who shot his big, fat, stupid mouth off at a boy's funeral, about how suicide will anger God and prevent a dead person's soul from entering heaven, has said he was only joking. Father Don LaQuesta (not real name, but nearly) was...

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Funny story: How did that Priest become a Detective?

How did that Priest become a Detective?

Idiot Wayne Badger, who famously bankrupted himself by buying a rare £200,000 Rolex rather than a house has asked how Father Dougal from factual documentary Father Ted is now a highly regarded, and charming detective in the documentary Death in Parad...

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Funny story: Priest's Sobriety Brings An End To Many "Just for the guys" Jokes

Priest's Sobriety Brings An End To Many "Just for the guys" Jokes

Many of the off-color and often crude jokes told by men exclusively to other men came under threat today when the anonymous priest mentioned in a majority of the jokes entered rehab for alcohol addiction. Father X, who entered a substance abuse...

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Funny story: Gay Colombian priests hire Catholic "hit man" to put them out of their misery!

Gay Colombian priests hire Catholic "hit man" to put them out of their misery!

Two gay Colombian priests could not bring it upon themselves to either "come out" or tell the Catholic church (which is 85% gay anyway). So they hired a "hit man" to murder them because the Catholic church does not allow gay preists to commit suicide...

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Funny story: The Village of Stoke Pogues obliterated as priest commits suicide

The Village of Stoke Pogues obliterated as priest commits suicide

It was indeed a sad day for inhabitants of the parochial village of 'Stoke Pogues' as the local vicar Reverend Arthur Basingston committed suicide - inadvertently eradicating the local demographic. In the ultimate act of self-destruction, he stra...

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Funny story: Karl Rove to become priest in Catholic Church

Karl Rove to become priest in Catholic Church

Vatican--Karl Rove is sick of exploiting the weak-minded with tales of how some mysterious figure is trying to take away all their rights. "I feel the horrible burden of my sins, all the lies, like Republicans care about the unborn children of po...

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Funny story: Catholic Church to Outsource Priests

Catholic Church to Outsource Priests

In response to the recent wave of scandals regarding sexual abuse by priests, the Catholic church has decided to outsource the job. "It makes perfect sense", claims Monseignor Balfour of the Archdiocese of Rome. "Every time one of the priests gets...

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Funny story: Monsignor Francois DuBois Placed Under House Arrest Again

Monsignor Francois DuBois Placed Under House Arrest Again

Huntington, West 'By God!' Virginia Sheriff's Department today confirmed that hell raising former Jesuit priest Monsignor Francois DuBois has been placed under house arrest again. Mainly for being 'meddlesome' and 'causing trouble.' This isn't...

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Funny story: Pope Puts Priests in Chastity Belts

Pope Puts Priests in Chastity Belts

Pope Benedict XV1 will during the Consistory he has called for November 20 announce that all priests will be fitted with chastity belts. This unprecedented papal decision has been reached to stop priests from indulging in any kind of sexual activi...

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Funny story: Hordes of Ex-Catholic Priests Stage "Santa for Kids" Convention in July

Hordes of Ex-Catholic Priests Stage "Santa for Kids" Convention in July

Bloomington, Minnesota, July 1, 2010 -- A huge convention of Catholic ex-priests descended on the Mall of America today for the purpose of paying special attention to the area's children. "It's only once per year that we get to play Santa for the...

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Funny story: Catholic Priest Found To Be "Completely Normal"

Catholic Priest Found To Be "Completely Normal"

After the many recent scandals involving the Roman Catholic church and sex, there was only a muffled silence this morning when it was announced that a Catholic priest had been found who was 'completely normal' . The priest, identified from thousan...

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Funny story: Tiger Woods Considers the Priesthood

Tiger Woods Considers the Priesthood

Following yet another explosive news report where Tiger Woods is accused of an extra-marital affair, this time with a local girl he met when she was 14, Woods announced that he may leave golf and his wife in favor of a simpler life in the priesthood.

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Funny story: Pope to Pedophile Priests: Eat More Fish

Pope to Pedophile Priests: Eat More Fish

Vatican - It appears that Pope Benedict XVI has had an epiphany with regards to the sex scandal that has continued to plague the Catholic Church-lack of fish in a priest's diet can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior toward young men. The Pope h...

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Funny story: Bin Laden retires; enters preisthood

Bin Laden retires; enters preisthood

Osama Bin Laden, the former terrorist, announced his retirement and subsequent acceptance for priesthood in the Catholic Church. Encouraged by the fact that the world considered the 911 attack a hoax Father Laden completed the conversion with a press...

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