"New Earth" Discovery Update: Could Be Future Of Man

Funny story written by Bureau

Friday, 8 October 2010

image for "New Earth" Discovery Update: Could Be Future Of Man
Update On New Earth!

Astronomers say they have for the first time ever, spotted a planet beyond our own in what is sometimes called the 'Goldilocks' zone for life: Not too hot, not too cold. but juuuust right.

"That sounds a little like Dr. Seuss but with our breakthroughs over the past 20 years, traveling to this new earth is entirely possible", stated Dr. Ansel Crowe

"The planet is not too far from its star, not too close. So it could contain liquid water, not ice crystals. The planet itself is neither too big nor too small for the proper surface, gravity and atmosphere. It's just right. Just like Earth!"

So should we stop using precious funds for the same shuttle missions over and over and begin concentrating on getting human beings to colonize this new earth?

"I would say 'Yes, definitely!", stated fellow astronomer Anne Harrington.

"The conditions here with the acceleration of global warming deems that we must unite to bring this vision into reality, as John Kennedy brought the vision on man landing on the moon."

Reminded that John Kennedy never lived to see that event, Dr. Harrington stated that neither would we.

"This is the future of our children or grandchildren so we have no choice. All signs is that it has water, atmosphere, everything that is basic for our type of life."

The two Astronomers then took questions until some smart ass asked if there would be any jobs there by 2050-2075?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more