Written by shea lo

Thursday, 7 October 2010

image for Caught in the act - lusty western athletes winning gold in condom-sport at Delhi Games. Brits, Aussies, Canadians keeping mum
play it safe

Western-media bashing of the Commonwealth Games was raised to high decibels just before the games began. Now complaints have begun emanating from athletes bathrooms. Only this time the western media can't bash the Indian politicians, the Games chief, the construction workers, the dogs, snakes, monkeys - heck all of India past, present and future for not meeting their level of satisfaction.

Nope - this time it was Indians plumbers who have complained that amorous and horny western athletes have been dumping used condoms down the toilets causing pipes to clog. Shoe's on the other foot, so to speak.

So where's the bitterly complaining, finger-pointing Aussie, Brit, Canadian athletes - have they fessed up to naughty behavior?

Not I, said the badly-behaved, red-faced, bombastic Aussies. "No problems with going to the toilet . . . not sure what happens after," the Aussie chief said sheepishly. "We had some maintenance issues with the toilets prior to the team arriving, but since we've been here, let's say good use keeps them in functioning order."

Yeah, right mate ;))

Not us, said the absolutely-horrid, self-absorbed, boorish Brits. "We'd never flush our con-doms; we just chuck 'em under the bed till they pile up, hoping Mum finds them when she does her once a year Christmas hoovering"

Yeah, we know what British cleanliness really is ;))

As for the Canadians - well, they couldn't make up their minds whether to own up or complain. Perhaps they're waiting for the govt to propose a taxpayer-funded inquiry to formulate an appropriate politically correct response which might come out in time for the next CWG. "We've had a few clogged-up toilets but it's been mainly toilet paper. We're not checking the contents, but the plumbers are pretty good at responding quickly and clearing the problem", said the Canuck team head. Rubberized, ribbed-toilet paper, you say?

On second thought, maybe it was those damned Indian stray dogs and snakes who flushed the rubber down the loo??

"These athletes are pigs" said local plumbers, "they spent so much time complaining about us. Perhaps their team heads should have told them you don't flush used condoms down S-shaped toilet pipes. We should have just given them a great big shit-hole instead of top-of-the-line porcelain."

Meanwhile whining Australia leads the medals standing with grumbly England and aw-gee Canada running close behind. Condom epidemic anyone????

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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