Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 7 October 2010

image for Commonwealth Games Swimming Pool 'Full Of Piss'
A normal (blue) swimming pool

There were calls for the Commonwealth Games swimming pool to be emptied and cleaned tonight, after investigations by games officials found that it was full of urine.

The investigation took place after several swimmers complained of stomach upsets after competing at the pool. They said the water tasted "a bit funny", and "not at all like chlorine". Others commented on the "yellow tinge" of the water.

The Games have been beset by problems, of which this is just the latest. Earlier, a giant turd was also found loitering at the bottom of the pool, and was removed and arrested by Indian police divers.

Tonight, though, officials said that it was unlikely that the pool would be cleaned until after the monsoon season was over, and that swimmers should take preventitive action by keeping their mouths shut whilst in the water, in order to avoid swallowing large gulps of piss.

Earlier reports of an old car tyre and a rubber johnny being found in the pool remain unconfirmed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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